Wednesday, May 28, 2014

So this is Holland...

I was at a class last week, and the instructors shared a story about the reality that life (and in this story they were specifically speaking of parenting) doesn't always go the way you plan...  The story was written by a Mom when she was asked what parenting was like...

The story has been making me smile all week, so I thought I'd share the general idea of it...

Your whole life you have this plan of traveling to Italy.  You are so excited every day when you wake up, because you know you get to plan this amazing trip.  You start learning the language, until you are pretty fluent...  you study the guide books, and you map out an ideal travel itinerary that will allow you to be sure that you hit all the major sites.

You start experimenting with new "Italian" foods.  You create a passion for the flavors, smells, and textures.  You begin to listen to "Italian" music...  You can recognize the different composers, and your excitement just continues to grow...

You get on the plane, you find yourself talking to all your traveling companions, you are so giddy with excitement you can hardly sit still..  And you land...  and you get off...  and nothing looks like it is supposed to...  You begin to feel a bit panicked, and you finally find someone to ask, and you explain that something must be wrong, this doesn't look, sound, or smell like Italy.

The individual smiles, and simply says - "that's because this is Holland"...  You don't understand, there must have been some mistake!  You try to get back on the plane, and you are told that there is no way to get back on.  You have arrived...  and this is Holland...

You jump on Facebook, twitter, and instagram, and everyone else seems to have made it to Italy...  It feels like everyone except you!

Sometimes life feels like that...  and as this Mother describes it, sometimes it takes a while to realize that Holland has a lot of nice points.  The windmills are beautiful, and the tulips bloom every spring.  The language is definitely not Italian, but you are able to communicate if you take the time to learn it...

There is a point that we must all make a decision...  Of choosing to see the beauty of Holland...  Of releasing the dream if Italy...  Of setting up a home, and making a life here in Holland...

May we all celebrate wherever we have landed...  Holland, France, Ireland, Scotland, Taylorsville, or West Valley...  May we take the time to learn the language, and to find the beauty and celebrate where we are...

Here's to our individual Hollands ;o)

Have a great trip!

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Sometimes you're the windshield...

It was a beautiful run this evening down on the Jordan Parkway, but the words to the Mark Knopfler song "The Bug" kept going through my mind...
"Sometimes you're the windshield... Sometimes you're the bug...  "

There was a hatch of something tonight, so if I was fishing - this would be a great thing! But for runners and bikers, well...  it's just buggy!

I passed folks who were choking on bugs, some with masks, some with frustrated hands swatting, and every sweaty person I passed had little black dots stuck on their faces and arms...  I was smiling (for I almost always smile when I'm running) so of course when I looked in the rear view mirror - I had beautiful black bugs in my teeth!

This experience made me reflect on how life is so much like my run this evening...  Sometimes you are just running along - and then out of nowhere - you find yourself in a cloud of bugs! - It's not anything you did, or didn't do, it just is there...  And when you hit one of these bug clouds, I believe we all get to make a choice...  We can get frustrated, we can blame, we can yell and scream, or we can just smile and keep running...  knowing that - this too will pass... - and if it doesn't pass quickly - we can smile at those around us - and hopefully help lighten their loads - by giving them something to smile back at (a buggy grin!)

Here's to a great run! Bugs and all!

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Still learning...

I'm a reforming control freak.  There, I said it.  Those who have known me for a long time have accepted this truth, and continue to cheer me on in my efforts to 'stay loose'... and I thank you!

On the eve of this Mothers Day, I find myself reflecting on the lessons I have learned from motherhood, I am celebrating the progress I have made towards releasing the control!  For me, Motherhood allowed me to see my desires to control my universe.  This was as true at home, as it was for me in the bakery.  I have always wanted the best for people, and in the beginning, I just couldn't understand why everyone didn't want my version of what was best for them!

Saturday I was handed a large stack of pictures that dated back from 1995 through probably 1999.  They were pictures of the bakery crew, of my kids in the bakery, of customers, of Rand and I, all doing different things in and around the bakery.  The images made me smile, but they also brought back some hard lessons I've learned.

Controlling others is never the way to freedom, it is never the way to joy, and it is not the shortest route to success.  I didn't understand that then, and because of that - there was a certain amount of sorrow as well as joy as I browsed through those pictures.  I found myself wanting to send messages to some of our past employees to apologize for my micro-managing.  I can truly say that I realize that this journey of life is about learning lessons, and for me, the bakery has been an amazing place to learn those lessons!

Those feelings brought to mind a quote from Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet" when he is asked to speak on Joy and Sorrow.  He says, "Joy is your sorrow unmasked." He goes onto explain, "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."

This has been true in my life, and in my journey at the bakery.  I find such incredible joy in working with the people I work with, with the customers, with my children and my husband.  I love the art of milling and baking products.  I love problem solving, and the chaos.  I enjoy the creation process of food, of gifts, of ideas.  Yet truly - as I reflect on these joys, they fill the well in my soul that has been carved by choices and events that created sorrow in me as well.

It's one of the many ironies of life I think, and I am okay with that...

My goal is not to sorrow over my past lessons and mistakes, rather I choose to see them for what they are...  simply that, lessons of life.  For those incredible people who were involved in my learning process - I thank you!  I beg your forgiveness for the times my lessons caused you pain, and I want you to know that I am grateful for the part you have played in helping me to become the woman I am today.  I am grateful for the opportunity to have walked a portion of this journey with you...

My Joy is overflowing as I have the opportunity to continue to do what I love, with people that I love.  And for all of you that are on this part of my journey with me now, I offer the same truth...  I beg your forgiveness for the lessons I continue to learn through my mistakes, I am so grateful to each of you for the part you play in helping me learn...  and thanks for walking this portion of my journey with me!

In my daily reformation - I am becoming more of who I desire to be, and that is a journey I am loving - with all of it's joys and sorrows!