Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Hi, my name is JoEllen, and I'm a Control FREAK...

The Bakery has allowed Rand and I to learn SO many amazing lessons.  Learning in general requires a LOT of mistakes, hard times, and general "Oh MY WORD" moments!  During those first years of running the bakery, I often felt like we were hanging on to the tail of a whale!

We kept trying all these new ideas to bring customers in, and so many of them were working, which is awesome, yet at the same time CRAZY!  We kept working on figuring it out, and overall things were generally under control...or at least that is what I hoped people thought...

The truth is, I am a reforming control freak.  Yep.  If there was a group for my kind of people, I think it might just be REALLY crowded!  Maybe I say that to flatter myself, and convince myself I am not alone... And that is a real possibility.

Truth is though, for probably 15 years, I have been speaking in different women's groups around the valley and as I share my story of realizing I'm a control freak... there is a lot of head nodding, and understanding...  You see...  Control is something I think we all crave.

It's this "lie" that we tell ourselves, that if we could just control this situation, then we will be 'safe' or we 'won't get hurt' or 'everything will be better...'  Yet the truth is that it is NOT POSSIBLE to control anyone but yourself, and - controlling yourself is pretty difficult even on the best of days.  For truly, control freaks like myself - also tend to have a little issue called "Perfectionism".  UMHMMMM  It's all related.  We believe that if we can control the situation, or the people around us, THEN we can have everything go perfectly!

Oh boy, this is SOOOOOOOO far from truth.  Yet it doesn't stop us from trying.  During the middle years of owning the bakery (like from the time my kids were 2, 5, and 13) I was sure that if I just worked hard enough, long enough, and smart enough, then things might all get done, and then everything would be PERFECT!

LONG story short, it didn't work!  Instead it lead to a serious dance with depression.  It seemed the more things I tried to control, the longer and harder I worked, the more exhausted I became, and those around me kind of wanted to yell "JUST STOP! FOR HEAVENS SAKE!"

The lessons learned can be summed up by realizing that one must stop, and be still.  One must realize that each human being is ENOUGH...  And ENOUGH is just what we are meant to be.  Each of us is different, unique, and wonderful.  And truth dwells in the reality that Love is the answer.

We could sit down and have a year long discussion of all the ins and outs of these truths, for I continue to study and trip along in a much happier dance of finding the balance points of each day.  And I love the chance to have these discussion, truly!  But in a three minute blog, suffice it to say - that YOU TOO are ENOUGH!  Today - right where you are!  Whatever the mistakes the day has offered you... YOU ARE ALWAYS ENOUGH!

I can't say it loud enough, or soft enough, or with enough passion...  so let me end with it one more time...  YOU are EnOUGH!

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